


What a Way to Know

by scalpelink



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, but more of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 07:04:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17638079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scalpelink/pseuds/scalpelink
Summary: Secrets can be lethal.





	What a Way to Know

Plumerias.

If it was not for the flowers, the message would have been even more ominous. Kara turned the card over once more.

 

“ _I need you. Please. As soon as you can.”_

 

There was no clue to the sender, save for the flowers. It could only be Lena but the idea of her sending flowers as a way to communicate seemed bizarre given that they exchanged calls and messages numerous times a day. Kara checked her phone again – not for the first time – and still it was silent.

A brief glance at the card over the rim of her glasses revealed nothing. No hidden words. No technology impregnated in the material. It was simply a typed message on a plain piece of writing card; the same kind that was used the world over by flower delivery companies.

Kara tucked the card into her pocket and slipped out from behind her desk. Snapper was buried in proof-reading and too preoccupied to notice her leaving. He would realise later and Kara would be in for it but she would deal with his ire when it happened. The more she worked for him, the more she realised that Snapper was angry at everything and in the grand scheme, Kara was barely a blip on the radar of inconveniences.

The flowers had been delivered almost half an hour ago. It was enough time that Kara could risk flying to L-Corp and be able to pass it off as if she had walked. She ducked into an alley, checked for movement in the shadows, and launched into the air.

Before she even reached top speed, she was slowing down. She hovered over-top L-Corp's headquarters for a few moments. There was nothing to give her a clue about what might be going on. Employees were going about their duties. A delivery truck was unloading at the bay to the warehouse. Lena was in her office, heartbeat going to its usual cadence. She had not anticipated an imminent threat but the sheer normalcy of the scene was enough to set Kara's teeth on edge.

Kara touched down out of sight. Her clothes had survived the brief flight. She was brushing the wrinkles out of her shirt as she entered L-Corp. The security guard at the front desk – an elderly man who was always smiling – waved her over.

They talked for a few minutes, exchanging pleasantries. A few subtle questions did not reveal any security issues and she was given a pass without issue.

As was normal, Kara took the stairs. This time it had the advantage of allowing her to eavesdrop on each individual floor of L-Corp as she ascended to Lena's office. Nothing was out of the ordinary. The only thing that gave her a moment of pause was the questionable hook-up of two employees in the bathroom.

When Kara reached Lena's office, she had no more clue as to what might be going on than she did when she first received the flowers. Not even Lena offered any clues. She was still at her desk and diligently at work. The only unusual thing was that Jess was not at her desk but given the hour, she was probably out to lunch.

Steeling her nerves, Kara knocked on Lena's door before gently pushing it open. Lena looked up immediately and her relief was palpable even from the other side of the office. She was on her feet and rounding the desk as Kara closed the door behind her.

“Kara! You got my message?”

Kara pulled the card from her pocket. “This? Are you okay? Why didn't you just call?”

“I couldn't risk it,” Lena said. “I needed to see you but I had to make sure no one would know. A text message could have been intercepted and it leaves a footprint and a phone call would have been even worse and-”

“Slow down,” Kara said. She took Lena's hands in her own and squeezed gently. Lena's voice was slowly climbing an octave and if she did not take a breath, Kara feared she would pass out. After a moment or two she was more or less back to seeming harried rather than hysterical. She had never seen Lena so on-edge.

“Tell me what's going on,” she said. She kept her voice low, as if she was trying to encourage a frightened animal. “What was so risky you couldn't just call?”

Lena's hand was trembling as she smoothed back her hair. Kara could feel her heartbeat as a frenetic echo in her chest. It was enough to make her own pulse climb.

“I'm still in the process of trying to clear up the mess my family has made,” Lena said. She was pacing. The sharpness of her heels against the floor was a harsh counterpoint to her voice. “Honestly, it will probably take more than a lifetime to rout out the twisted evil my brother and mother put on this earth. They have resources secreted away in almost every place imaginable.” “Did you know my brother was funnelling money into a programme aimed at indoctrinating kids into some kind of alien hating army? Don't even get me started on the effort he put into developing technology that would destroy this entire planet. He would have killed us all before he saw aliens take a place here.”

“I wish I could say I was surprised,” Kara said, sad. She knew all too well the fear and hatred that Lex harboured for aliens. Her cousin Clark had been the primary target for it. “But Lena, that's not you. I know you're not like them.”

Lena laughed; a cruel, cold thing of heavy disgust. “That's not what the world will think if anyone finds out about this.”

“Lena...”

Looking as though fate rested on her shoulders, Lena moved back to her desk. She put her hand over a box that Kara had not noticed before. It was small and much like the cases the DEO used to transport weapons. There was no key that Kara could see or even a combination pad.

“I called you here because I need your help, Kara.” Lena drew her hand back without touching the box. “More specifically, I need your sister's help. I know you both are friends with Superman and this is something he needs to know about.”

“Lena just tell me what's going on.”

“A stockpile of Lex's was traced to Berlin and this was one of the things my team recovered.” Lena pressed her thumb to a concealed biometric pad and the small grey box opened, spilling forth a gulf of pressurised smog.

Kara's blood turned to ice. She heard Lena as though there were miles between them.

“I couldn't risk anyone finding out about it,” Lena said. “Can you imagine what would happen if anyone found out that I had access to kryptonite?”

Kara could not speak. Wave after wave of sickness pulsed from the kryptonite. She sank to the floor, struggling to breathe but desperately trying to fight. Tendrils of radiation sank into her veins and clawed its way toward her frantic heart. She tried to reach out but Lena was too far away; much too far.

“They would blame me,” Lena said, the panic returning to her voice. She put her head in her hands. “We have to get this somewhere safe without anyone finding out. I can't see my brother's legacy let out into the world again.”

“Kara, I need you to talk to your sister. She'll know what to do with it.”

Kryptonite was a malignancy like no other. Red light took Kara's power away but Kryptonite ravaged her. Her lungs gurgled with every breath. Her muscles burned and her bones were fit to snap. It was such a small thing and yet it would kill her as easily as man would a bug.

“Kara, how soon- Kara!”

Lena dropped to Kara's side. She was twisted in agony. Pink froth foamed at her mouth. Blood slicked her cheek from her nose. Her eyes were wide and staring, as if she was seeing the spectre of horror.

“Kara! Kara, what do I do?” Lena hauled Kara up by her shoulders so she was propped in Lena's lap. She wiped at her nose and mouth, trying to help Kara draw breath. She frantically tried to remember if Kara had said anything to her about allergies or an illness. Nothing came. “Kara, what's happening?”

Kara grabbed at her, ineffectual and weak. Her mouth moved like a gasping fish and the only sounds to come forth were choked. She looked up at Lena in pained desperation. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. She started convulsing and Lena could not hold on to her. She was helpless to watch as Kara's body contorted. It seemed to go on and on, and then she was still. A fresh rivulet of blood dripped from her ear.

She had stopped breathing. Lena snapped out of her panic and was back at Kara's side. She tilted her head back and did her best to clear the bloodied froth from her mouth. Pinching her nose, she closed her mouth over Kara's and willed her to life. After two breaths, she put her hands to Kara's sternum and pushed. Hesitation gave way to fear and soon she was pushing into Kara as hard as she could possibly manage.

Over and over she repeated the sequence. Between breaths, she yelled for Jess – for anyone – to help them. She was too terrified to leave Kara's side to call for an ambulance. Her arms were getting weaker with each press. She was starting to feel light-headed. On her last compression she slipped and Kara's button-down shirt tore right open.

Lena stopped moving altogether and she thought her heart might have stopped along with Kara's. With _Supergirl's_.

There was no mistaking the crest. She would know it anywhere. Her brother had lost his mind over what it stood for. She had been saved by it more times than she could count. Like a lock sliding home, the gears started turning. All the strange comments. All the dates that Kara missed. All the times Supergirl was there just when Lena needed her most. For a moment she was absolutely blinded by not only her own foolishness but the enormity of the truth. How could she have missed something so patently obvious?

She snapped back to reality with all the force of a freight train. She struggled to her feet and practically fell across her office. She slammed the box of kryptonite closed and sent it skidding across the floor with half the contents of her desk.

She hurried back to Kara but she did not stir. Her skin was sallow. Viral-green fingers clawed up her throat from under her uniform.

“You don't get to do this,” Lena said, voice thick and tight. “You don't get to just.. Kara!” She shook her. Tears fell hot and thick down her cheeks. “Please, Kara...”

She could not be the Luthor that finally killed a Super. She could not do by complete accident what her brother and mother had been failing to do for years. She could not be the woman who killed her best friend.

A sick feeling overcame her. Were they really best friends if she did not know that Kara was also Supergirl?

Lena scooped Kara up by her underarms as best she could. She might not know Kara very well but she knew more than a little bit about the Supers. She knew enough of both that she was not about to let either of them die.

She knew how to help. Sunlight.

It took the last vestiges of her strength, and her cursing a storm, to drag Kara's dead-weight body to the balcony. She collapsed with Kara across her lap, panting. Kara's face was turned to the sun and Lena held her, hoping against hope that she was not too late.

“C'mon, Kara.” Lena removed Kara's glasses and pushed back wisps of hair from her face. The sun made her look even more stricken. “Please...”

Eternities erupted between Lena's heartbeats. She clutched Kara's still hand. She checked for the smallest sign that Kara was still with her; the flutter of an eyelash, or the recoil of her pulse. Every moment that passed with nothing was a blade twisting in her gut.

“Kara...” Lena sank. Her head fell against Kara's and all sense of hope leached out. Tears spilled from her and down Kara's face. She rocked them both and did not fight the despair.

“Lena!”

A dozen soldiers barged into Lena's office. At their head, Agent Danvers. She had her gun squarely aimed at Lena's head.

“Move away, Lena. Now.”

“I tried,” she said, stuttering. She wiped her tears from Kara's face. “I didn't mean to. I didn't know. She never-”

“I'm not going to tell you again” Alex said, jaw set so tight that Lena was sure she could hear her teeth grinding together. “Move away from my sister or I swear you won't get the same mercy as your brother.”

With the utmost care, Lena laid Kara down. She shuffled back against the balcony rail and watched, absolutely helpless, as Kara was lifted into a bag and taken away.

 

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

Everything was so very far away. Whispers on the wind. Kara reached for the light but it fell through her fingers. Words died in her throat before they ever made it to her mouth. She lay absolutely wrecked and alone. Unconsciousness was a blissful reprieve from the agony of fire in her blood but it never lasted.

She lived through every breath and part of her wished she would just sleep forever more.

“Lena...?”

“Kara?” Alex scrambled into a sitting position. “Kara?”

Kara swallowed and did her best to tighten her grip on Alex's hand. It was feeble but it was something because Alex loosed a broken sob of relief. “I'm here,” she said. Her throat was drier than the Daxam deserts.

Alex smoothed her hair back. Kara turned into her hand, as if it was her and not the sun that would heal her. She could not understand the words Alex was saying but she knew the feelings and they were the same as her own. She let her sister cry for them both.

“I'm sorry,” Kara said. “I'm so sorry, Alex.”

“I thought you were gone, Kara.” She shook Kara none-too-gently. “You were gone. You were gone and if it wasn't for Clark I wouldn't get to yell at you.” She laughed through her tears. “And you know how much I like to yell at you, baby sister.”

Kara laughed and winced when her ribs felt as if they would crack. “I know.”

Alex climbed up on to the sun bed with her proper and for the first time, Kara slept soundly.

Several more days on the sunbed and a never-ending cocktail of drugs later, Kara was able to stay cognisant for more than a few minutes at a time. Moving was still an issue but she at least did not feel as though she would shatter like glass.

When she was able to eat again, Alex took it as a sign she was ready to explain what had happened. Kara was glad for her sister's restraint. She did not remember everything about what had happened and what she did remember had needed time to settle into the right order.

“I got a message,” Kara said, spooning yoghurt into her mouth. “It was from Lena. She said she needed to see me.”

“Did she say why?”

“Nope. It was just a note in some flowers. Just asked me to get there as soon as I could.” Kara pushed aside her food before it was finished. Alex frowned at her but said nothing. “I checked things out before I showed up. There was nothing going on so I figured it was something personal.”

Kara explained what had happened in Lena's office as best she could. Alex asked a question here and there but for the most part remained silent and attentive. Kara was winded by the time she was finished.

“You should have checked in with us,” Alex said. She failed to hide the bite in her voice.

“I need to check in to a visit a friend?”

“Friends don't try to kill you,” Alex said hotly.

“It was an accident, Alex. She just wanted help. She didn't know who I was.”

Alex folded her arms over her chest. “So she says.”

“I believe her,” Kara said, equally defensive. “As soon as I get out of here, we can go see her at L-Corp and she can explain.” She frowned. “I have some explaining to do too, I guess.”

“Lena isn't at L-Corp,” Alex said.

“Where is she?”

“Look, Kara-”

Kara was out of bed so fast she tumbled into the medical station next to it. She staggered to the door, throwing her whole weight against it. She was not back to full strength but it was enough to pull the steel from its hinges. Alex tried to hold her back but she may as well have been a shadow.

The holding cells were floors beneath and everyone between them and Kara had the good sense to get out of the way. Alex quelled the braver of the soldiers who tried to get in the way. When they reached the cells, Alex left Kara to go the rest of the way alone.

When Kara reached the last cell – the only one with a guard – she wished she was not still so weak. She wanted nothing more than to tear the cell apart. Lena was tucked into the far corner, dressed in a grey jumpsuit, folded in on herself. A tray of food lay uneaten at the bars.

“Open it,” Kara said, struggling to speak. She kept her gaze fixed on Lena. The guard hesitated. “Open it or I break it. Your choice.”

The guard fumbled with the lock in his panic. Kara doubted she could break into a paper bag but was not about to let it show. She reigned in her fury and as soon the door was open, pushed inside.

A hundred things to say had spiraled though Kara's head on her dash here but now she was faced with Lena, she had nothing. She was still as stone and Lena's heavy gaze swept over her. She had never felt more exposed. All her secrets were laid bare and desperately, she hoped Lena was not disappointed with what she had discovered.

Lena was the first to move. She touched trembling fingers to Kara's face, just at the corner of her eye. Her fingers brushed against her cheek and tucked a blonde curl behind Kara's ear. She looked as though she was puzzling through the secrets of the universe. It was all Kara could do not to shift on the spot.

“I...” Lena dropped away. “It's a lot to take in.”

“Did you know? Did you know who I was?”

“I knew you were hiding something,” Lena said. “But this? Supergirl?” She shook her head. “I would never have guessed that.”

“I wanted to tell you.” Kara wrung her hands together. “I wanted to tell you but I just... Nothing was ever right.”

“Always a Luthor,” Lena said. It was said around a laugh but it was simply miserable.

“What? Lena, no.” Kara reached for her and did her best to still be earnest when Lena flinched away. “I never thought that. Never.”

Lena sank back to her cot. The metal springs whined under her weight. Kara, after a beat of hesitation, sat down beside her. Their shoulders were almost touching and Kara wanted to lean closer, to drive away the chill grip of kryptonite still lingering.

“I'm glad you're okay,” Lena said. “Your sister already had my headstone picked out, I believe.”

Kara looked back towards Alex. She was still loitering at the end of the hall. They were going to have a talk when this was all over. A very long one.

“She should have... I'm sorry, Lena. You didn't deserve any of this.”

“I had kryptonite and a dead Super in my office. I think I would have drawn the same conclusions had the situation been reversed.” Lena looked at her curiously. “You were dead, weren't you?”

Kara grimaced. “As close as a Kryptonian on Earth gets before being dead dead, yeah.”

“How did your sister know where to find you?”

“There's a tracking device in my suit. It transmits my vitals.”

Lena nodded slowly. “I'm glad.”

Silence stretched between them and Kara itched to say more. She wrestled her courage and was about to spill everything that had been plaguing her for months – ever since she and Lena really became friends – but Lena looked up at her from under lank hair and obliterated the words in her chest.

“I'd like to go home now, if that's okay.”

 

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

Plumerias.

Lena thumbed a delicate petal and considered the flowers again. They had arrived that morning and the note that came with them was short and vague.

 

“ _Stay where you are. Please.”_

 

The sender could only be Kara. Part of her wanted to obey and the other wanted to go into hiding. It had been three weeks since she had seen her last. No calls. No messages. No hint that Kara had ever been a part of her life to begin with.

Lena put the note aside. She did not have long to decide which instinct to follow. For the rest of the day she did her best to put it out of her mind. She found herself hoping for an emergency that would take the decision out of her hands.

She was finalising a provisional business agreement when her office door opened. Day had turned into dusk without her noticing and Kara was finally there. She lingered in the doorway and hesitated. The silence between them was acutely painful.

“May I?”

Lena jolted. “Of course.” She made to go back to her paperwork. “What can I do for CatCo Media today?”

Kara's soft footfalls seemed to echo as she crossed the room. Lena did not dare look up. She knew as soon as she did, there would be no way she could recover the distance she had built.

“I came to see you,” Kara said, small. She had never sounded small in all the time Lena had known her. “If you're not too busy.”

“Actually, I am rather preoccupied.” Lena made a show of her desk that was piled high with reports and prototypes. Her heart was pounding and knowing Kara could hear it only made her feel worse. “If you speak to Jess I'm sure she can find you a better time.”

“Lena, please, I-”

“Kara.” She pushed away from her desk and turned her back to her office. “I can't. Just... I don't think I can... Please.” She crossed her arms to stop them shaking. “I don't think this is a good idea.”

“What isn't a good idea?”

Kara was closer. Her voice was soft. Lena closed her eyes and willed herself not to cry but when she did, all she could see was Kara's broken body on the floor. Bile welled in her throat.

“Lena, look at me...”

Kara's hand touched her shoulder and Lena turned into it. She was helpless not to. She swallowed back the memories, the terror, and looked at Kara for the first time in what seemed forever. There was no blood. No spider-like trails of green poison. She was broad and tanned and the picture of strength.

“I'm okay, Lena.” Kara offered her a lopsided smile and squeezed her shoulder.

“You're okay,” Lena said, whispering. The tension eased in a wave and for a horrifying moment, Lena thought she might faint.

“Is it okay if we talk?” Kara pushed her glasses up her nose. “I won't keep you. There are just some things I wanted to tell you. Stuff I should have told you a long time ago.”

Lena stayed as she was. Kara took it as leave to continue.

“There's never really an easy way to do this,” Kara said, grinning wryly. “I thought about it so many times and it's always awkward and always just... It's better if I just show and, you know, stop rambling.”

Kara's hands shook as she raised them to her shirt. Lena watched the buttons come loose and even though she knew what was underneath the dark material, it was still a shock to see the crest of the Supers.

“I'm Supergirl,” Kara said, a little lamely. Lena let herself smile a little. “So yeah, that's my big secret.” She pulled her glasses off and ruffled her hair, as if that was somehow more convincing the suit beneath her clothes. “And I know you already know and we, we have stuff to really talk about, but this is how I wanted to do it, Lena. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? I was the one who nearly killed you.” Lena threw her arms up. “My mother and brother have been trying to kill your cousin for years and I just blunder into it like a complete idiot and nearly- nearly-”

“Because I didn't tell you!” Kara came in close and took Lena's hands. “I should have told you. It wasn't your fault. I know you would never hurt me.”

“Then why didn't you tell me, Kara?” Lena fought her way free. “Why? If not because I'm a Luthor then why didn't you trust me?”

“I didn't want to lose you!” Kara staggered away as if Lena had struck her. She sank onto the couch and put her head in her hands. “At first it was just being cautious and then I was just too scared you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore if you knew how my family had pulled yours apart.”

“How your-”

Kara looked up at her and the tears were plain on her cheeks. “I needed you, Lena. I needed you to by my friend and I am sorry I was selfish. I'm so sorry.”

Lena ached. She forgot all the hurt she had piled on and hurried to Kara's side, pulling her into a hug she had yearned for since she walked in the office. Kara clung to her as if she might drown if she let go.

“What a pair we make,” Lena said. She brushed tears from Kara's face even as they ran down her own.

“I'm so sorry, Lena.”

“No more apologies. We both made mistakes.” Lena smiled and found it was as easy as it had always been. “Promise me not to use the whole thing against me and I promise not to tell Jess you got drunk and came in here and tried to strip.”

Kara snorted. She pulled her shirt closed but it was a half effort at best.

“I told you,” she said. “It's always awkward.”

They had a lot to talk about. It would be hard and Lena had no doubt they would hurt more before they felt better. There would be no recovering their friendship as it was but she hoped that they might grow into something better. Something more.

For now, she was happy to just have Kara back. She leaned into Kara's side and played into the levity they had found in the wreckage.

“Exactly how many people have you awkwardly exposed yourself to?”

“Lena!”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> *awkward wave* Hi?


End file.
